This year has been WILD. Like truly. When they say you'll be uncomfortable as you grow, it's true. This year has been UNCOMFORTABLE. I've had to push past feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, loneliness, self-doubt, being overwhelmed, feeling unqualified, and the need for belonging. I had to lean into feeling those things, acknowledge that is where I was, access my resources/toolkit, allow the feeling to pass, and throughout each of those steps, I had to truly trust that the Lord would sustain me through the season.
This year has taught me that showing up is always the best decision, no matter how uncomfortable. In order to settle into something new, you have to go through the process of not understanding. I've had to do quite a bit of research as I embarked on a new journey this year and part of my research led me to something called "the learning curve". Anytime you do something new, that is unfamiliar you will experience a learning curve. The definition of a learning curve is the rate of a person's progress in gaining experience or new skills. So, as I took on the challenge of having 3 part-time jobs I experienced 3 different learning curves all at the same time.
Talk about STRESSED. I literally had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that I had prayed for part-time jobs, all within my field of work so that I could continue to have flexibility with my schedule and the Lord gave me that. What He didn't share with me was all of the emotional, intellectual, and physical strength that I would need to assist me.
My word for this year was intentional and my heart swells with joy as I confirm and say that I've truly been intentional this year. Intentional about my time and being disciplined and consistent. Intentional about seeking out mutually beneficial relationships that will support me on this journey. Intentional about filling my vessel with things that I need to live a life poured out. Most importantly intentional about showing up.
Part of my challenge this year was walking into who God has called me to be and truly showing up. Showing up authentically and as the best version of myself. I was walking into spaces that were foreign territory completely surrendered to Holy Spirit to actively support me in showing up. When I say showing up, I mean how I enter the room. How I act and behave when I'm in the room. How I interact with others in the room. How I discern when I am in the room. How I live out the character traits of, and share Jesus in the room.
Jesus didn’t pick when He wanted to be himself and when He didn’t. He was Jesus 24/7. He did have times when He chose when to show up to a particular place or situation, but when He showed up He came as Himself consistently. He showed up as patient. He showed up as kind. He showed up with concern and compassion. He showed up with solutions that repaired and didn’t leave people broken. That is how I am choosing to show up.
As a learned extrovert, my natural inclination is to sit in the room quietly. My natural inclination is to mind my own business and speak only when spoken to.
However, in this season, I've learned how to speak up and out. I've learned how to let my light shine. I had become a dimmer of my own light and Holy Spirit has encouraged and gently nudged me to just BE. I'm also thankful that my husband has encouraged me to just BE. It's important to have individuals around you who can SEE you.
My prayer for you as we end 2023, is that you will continue to show up. Continue to be all that God has called you to be with no apologies. Continue to set and achieve your goals. Continue to get all that God has for you. Continue to push past anxiety, being overwhelmed, feeling unqualified, feeling unseen, and having self-doubt. Continue to love. Continue to give. Continue to be like Jesus. Continue to keep God first. Continue to keep living lives poured out like oil.
In Jesus Name, Amen
As the seasoned saints say... if it be the Lord's will I'll see y'all next year.
Happy New Year!
-A